For My Best Friend David

This is the speech I wrote for my best friend's wedding last month. I adlibbed a bit, so this isn't everything I said. David is a writer and musician, so I made a goal to fit as many song titles of his into the speech as possible---I managed 24.

Enjoy. If you are curious about the songs, check out PhYr, Cloudkill, and Go Nova. (David and I played together in all three bands.)

For those who don’t know me, I’m Brian Wood, and David and I go way back. We’ve known each other for nearly three decades as bandmates, classmates, theater nerds, and of course, the best of friends. I know all about his favorite crayon color (electric lime), his triple-number curse (note the wedding date 111 222), and how he invented the Pokemon card game before the makers of Pokemon did.

Oh, and that's David, not Dave. (No offense, Dave.) I know his middle name, too, but you’ll have to ask him about that.

Tonight, I’d like to share a few of my favorite memories to demonstrate some of my favorite qualities about David. I’ll try not to go on and on. But here goes.

David has always been creative and clever. Once in third grade, he made a bet with a classmate of ours. David had a bowl cut at the time, and he bet five dollars that he would shave his head that night. The kid took the bet---or maybe I should say bait. David came to school the next day, head shaved, and got his reward. He told me later he was going to shave it anyway, so why not make a few bucks off the deal?

David is an optimist, and he makes the best of what life sends his way. Like the first song we wrote together. We were 15, in my living room playing a riff he had written, trying to figure out the next lyric. David stopped suddenly and pointed at the wall with a look of disgust. 

“Hey, Brian. Look at that giant bug on your wall.” 

I looked; there was indeed an ugly, caterpillars-of-the-commonwealth sized bug crawling across the wall. I cringed and stood up to try getting rid of it. David just shrugged and went right back to playing, adding the ingenious new lyric:

Bug on a wall / watchin’ it crawl

Another line from that same song: “My life’s a pun.” It was no profound protest song, or romantic summer song---it was pure nonsense. And to this day, I think it’s perfect.

But don’t let the absurdity fool you; David is wise. I’ve received amazing, life-changing advice from him. Over the years I've loved and lost---whether she left me or vice versa, David was always around to help me through it.

In my mid-twenties, my life had started to feel like a flytrap. I was a fish stuck in sand, trying to return to the water. He encouraged me to leave Belleville, my lifelong home, to go back to school for physics instead of music. He told me I had important things to do with my time, that I was too smart to let myself stagnate. “You have to live while you still can.” 

It was a tough decision, but it turned out to be the right one. It led to new challenges, an engaging career path, and the love of my life. And despite differences in the latitude and the longitude, David and I have remained close.

I think it was around that same time he told me, “never just sing the melody.” That was a tip for helping me get better with harmony, but I like to think of it as a commentary on life in general. Don't just be satisfied doing what’s expected of you.

I can honestly say that I don’t know where I’d be without a friend like David. He helps balance out my analytical brain with compassion and creativity. He helps me laugh at myself when I get too serious. We genuinely care about each other and enjoy watching each other succeed.

And all of that is what I wish for the two of you in your marriage. Genuine caring. Harmony. A good balance of gentleness and passion--of Venus and Mars. 

Times have been tough lately--especially for folks in education, like these two. A lot of hardship to transcend. Good people like these two don’t come a dime a dozen, and I know David has found his perfect fit with Cari. When I look at these two, I see light reflecting light, like a fancy fiberglass wall mirror. The kind of light that petty fights could never eclipse. And when stormy waves roll in, they'll find ways to embrace the water--hopefully get stuck in less sand. Catch the storm clouds in jars, and go chase the sun instead.

So, it seems like I’ve been talking for hours, but I wanted to end with one last sentiment. 

I promised I wouldn’t embarrass him with any explicit lyrics, but I do want to share one David original that’s been stuck in my head since I started writing this speech. So, let’s raise our glasses and accept these words as a blessing to this beautiful couple:

When there is nothing in between, and all is calm, 

We will forget our hurts and become one.

Cheers to the happy couple. Thank you.