Setting expectations for the year

Today is the first day of 2023. It's also the first day of the week, a Sunday. And the first day of the first month, January. All these distinctions are arbitrary. Yet because humans have celebrated them for so long, they hold power in our collective psyche. Starting something on such a significant makes it statistically more likely to succeed.

That is to say, today's a good day for a new start.

I'm a numbers person, so my goals need to be quantifiable. For example, if I wanted to cut back on drinking, I could measure the amount of alcohol I buy. But should I count the amount I spend? Or the number of purchases? Do I limit myself per day, week, month? As usual, overthinking takes over.

So I try to find simple feedback systems that play into my existing habits. Before trying to set a strict goal over the long term, I give myself flexible guidelines to apply and adjust regularly.

My favored low-effort strategy for reducing bad behavior is one I call the skip method. It's simple: the next time I get the urge to drink, I don't. Instead, I take a moment to consciously remind myself that I'm trying to cut back. Then I grant myself permission to give in next time---but only next time.

Denying the initial urge is easy knowing that it's just this one time. It also inspires me to think about the decision and the behavior in the moment of temptation. Over time I learn to recognize my triggers, which can lead me to improved long-term strategies. Eventually, I try to skip two or three instances before giving in; no matter what, I can only hold one "pass" at a time. But it's enough to keep me going.

Anything works better for me than thinking in absolutes. Though cutting drinking out entirely might be a better long-term goal, it isn't as attainable as skipping every other drink. Any strategy is bound to fail that doesn't try to address the compulsion and its root causes.